Following the resignation of Prime Minister Liz Truss it has been suggested that the ideal candidate to replace her would be local equine superstar Patrick the Pony.
In his manifesto he promises a strong and ‘stable’ government saying he will ‘buck’ the recent trend and won’t ‘bridle’ at the challenges.
A spokesperson said: “Patrick is ‘champing at the bit to get started.”
“Patrick isn’t in it for the money (a PM is currently paid £164,080). We hear straight from the pony’s mouth Partrick would be happy with a regular supply of hay, a trough of water and the occasional pint of Guinness.”
One thing Patrick won’t be doing is making up government policy “on the hoof.” He knows how important it is to carry the party with him, on his back if necessary.
Patrick’s ‘mane’ expertise is as a therapy pony who loves visiting potential constituents who give him a hug and sometimes a bag of carrots...
Should he be elected, he looks forward to moving into either the flat above Number Ten or Eleven but plans to replace the expensive carpets and wallpaper with fresh straw and wooden boards.
Patrick’s campaign manager added: “Patrick’s aim is to bring happiness and honesty. He is looking into Larry the Cat becoming Chancellor.”
A petition has been launched on Change.org. The introduction says:
“Patrick the Pony, current Mayor of Cockington, Devon has proven a great and inspiring leader of the South West. Taking his duties seriously with diligence, Patrick’s dedication to the county is recognised by all locals.
Patrick enjoys civil duties, policy-making, meeting and greeting dignitaries and local officials and sharing his points of view over a pint of Guinness in his local pub.“
To anyone wanting real change, Patrick’s calling for people to get off their high horses, trot to the polling stable and vote for pony power!
If you would like to vote for Patrick you can head to www.change.org/p/patrick-the-pony-for-prime-minister?signed=true
If you want to follow the adventures of Patrick the Pony Visit: https://www.facebook.com/celebrity.pony/