George and Sheila, Uncle Dave, Auntie Maureen, Grandad Jones, Sadiq at the corner shop, Arthur the local bus driver, Elsie and all residents at the care home round the corner, Joan at the local greasy spoon, next door's Grant and Judy with their new born pride and joy - all essentially have one thing in common, turning it on and flushing it.

Did they ever imagine that when they had their early morning cuppa, loo ponder and flush time, water with tablets, morning shower, bathing baby, watering plants, filling tea urns, somebody from a distant urban concrete jungle in the chaotic, ill-disciplined, financial capital would be playing high stakes brinkmanship with the continuity of this essential-for-life local water needs and wants?

Had they ever heard of Elliot (US hedge fund), Silver Point Capital (US hedge fund), Golden Tree Asset Management (US), BlackRock (US Asset/Risk Management), Rothschild, Sculptor Capital Management (US), Marathon Asset Management (US), Zimmer Partners, (US hedge fund/investment), class ‘A’ and 'B’ bondholders, credit agencies?  

Or, unmanageable debt loads - deviation in sector dispersion spreads, risk premiums, financial 'haircuts,' junk status, multi-baggers.

No of course not. This is the language of fast-buck city suits, chasers of greed rather than families in need. Do they care about the local community’s water and wastewater service? No. Do they see a pile of cash to be made from the financially crippled and badly managed Thames Water and others?  Yes. 

Today’s language of the big city carpet baggers. Short-term trading and profiteering on somebody's precious and essential-for-life local monopoly water service. Who will pay for the international interlopers' massive gains when they have scarpered overseas to other profitable watering holes and bought their latest yacht or Lamborghini? 

Not difficult to guess. George, Sheila, Auntie Maureen, Grandad Jones, Elsie & co. through their water bill.

Thames Water's abject, embarrassing, performance track record, managing to degrade to near bankruptcy, a monopoly business serving a captive 16 million customer base, will be held out as a case study of what not to do and how not to go about it for many years.

As for our local company South West Water, its finances appear to be sound, but its performance leaves a lot to be desired.

This year’s high-profile operational incidents, including Exmouth Beach's sewage pollution and the more local Brixham drinking water contamination, have done nothing to lift its tarnished reputation.

We await the findings of the Drinking Water Inspectorate Report which will probably not make good reading for the company.

Meanwhile the Starmer Government, like the previous, appears intent on continuing with the current broken water company model.

The introduction of a gossamer-thin Water (Special Measures) Bill to Parliament will do little to change anything. The answer? A not-for-profit company.

Adopting this model would be a winner with 56 million people and their local water services, 50,000 employees, and the local river and water environment. As well of course George, Sheila, Uncle Dave and Auntie Maureen, the new baby, and co.

Welsh Water has been a not-for-profit company since 2000 and has one of the most positive customer ratings in the UK water sector.

The water industry is unique. Essential-for-life and largely a monopoly. It does not fit with short-term international investors and impatient owners.

Thames Water is the poster boy for the current failed model, once packed with overseas speculative investors who have now taken flight.

More about the trials and tribulations, as well as the good bits of undiluted water next week.